There’s a psychological concept called mirroring. The way it works is that as we become very close to or familiar with a person’s actions and traits we can begin to instinctively mimic what they do and how they do it. Couples who have grown close over a lengthy relationship can be seen mirroring each other’s words, gestures and expressions. Close observation for both positive and negative reasons can lead to this behavior. In Proverbs 22:24-25, Solomon warned about becoming changed by association with people who have evil attributes. He said avoid the association “lest thou learn his ways.” But we don’t have to be friends with poor examples to learn their ways. We can get sucked in by focusing on negatives in people with whom we have limited contact. Have you become so focused on the bad traits of someone in your life that you can’t wait to report his or her latest evil or stupid move? Beware: continual fixation with the other person’s issues may lead to mirroring.
I remember a song I used to hate: “Goin’ Up the Country.” It was the dumbest song ever written. I’m sure that it is loaded with deep social, philosophical and every other kind of meaning. When YOU listen to it, you’ll probably fall on your knees and cry out that your life is changed. When I heard it in 1969, it was dumb. It was so dumb that I couldn’t stop imitating how dumb it sounded. Before long people thought I was dumb because here was this black, city kid singing this atonal, country twang mess, by The Canned Heat and it only had a few words to it. By focusing on what I hated I became obsessed with it and started to mirror the very thing that repulsed me. Are you doing this with anyone? The boss, the neighbor, the church member: are you so fixated on rehashing their failings that you are becoming more negative by the minute? In fact, are you becoming more like the people you hate by replaying their bad ways to the point that these bad ways become yours? It’s not the behavior that needs to stop, its the attitude! You need to confess to God that you are obsessed with the negative about people and it has reduced you to a level below the people you hate. You need to be set free and transformed before you lose your salvation to mirroring evil. There’s no 12-step plan. Go to God and lay this problem at his feet. Cry out to him because the problem is deeper than you think. He is able to change you if you will let him.